My name is Kirsty and I am a Kleptomaniac

I didn’t think I was. I am familiar with “Thou shalt not steal”. I don’t mean to steal pencils, honestly I don’t. It seems like this problem is beyond my control. By the end of the week I have at least 6 in my bag. It is so bad that I have to tie the pencil at work to my desk so I can’t pop it in my bag. I just googled person who steals pencils (as you do). No such condition. Phew. BUT I looked up Kleptomania in Wikipedia (official source of all true knowledge) and they say: “People with this disorder are compelled to steal things, generally objects of little or no significant value, such as pens, paper clips, tape, chopsticks, traffic cones, signs, eyeliner, mascara, drugs and small toys. Some kleptomaniac’s may not even be aware that they have committed the theft.” Arrrrgghhhhhh it’s me. I haven’t moved onto traffic cones or chopsticks… yet.

Yesterday I went to the place that no person with my condition should go. Ikea. I came away with another big blue plastic bag to add to my collection. The compulsory candle, a kitchen utensil, two “handy” paper measuring tapes and….a pocket full of small pencils.