The Fairy Dress

30 09 2010

Last week I went online and ordered my god-daughter a fairy dress for her birthday. When I opened the box to get it out, my first thought was – That is not going to fit me. Huh? ME? WHAT WAS I THINKING.

1. It is a fairy dress

2. It is aged 3-5…not 35.

I think I may have some unresolved childhood issues – starting with a desire to wear a bright pink, sparkly, sequined fairy dress.





I have S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder)

29 09 2010

I don’t get how the weather ladies look so ecstatically happy when all they have to report is how COLD and WET and GREY it is going to be from now until March. Their joviality is not appreciated pre-breakfast.





Conditioned

28 09 2010

I am a creature of habit. When I jump in the shower I go on auto-pilot. I wash my hair first, when it’s conditioning I get washing, starting with my left arm. Always the left arm first. Last night something went wrong. I squeezed an abundance of brilliant brunette, colour enhancing, high gloss, essence of chestnut (which may stain) conditioner into my was-white-now -brown-shower puff, and started on the left arm. It was only when I was glowing chestnut and the white shower was the colour of mud, that I realised the error of my ways. I am glowing with moisturised hair and high gloss skin.





Nailed

27 09 2010

I will never learn. I have this thing about doing as much as I possibly can BEFORE I leave work. Like snoozing for 35 mins, putting on a wash, ironing, exfoliating, emailing, tidying my room, blogging and most annoyingly painting my nails. No-one should paint their nails under pressure, especially painting them black (goth phase). No matter how clever I think I am, painting my digits black before putting on my make-up and drying my hair…well It is always going to end in tears and black smears. Grrrrr.





Tupperware Party

24 09 2010

I am nearing that age when my birthday celebration should not be consuming cocktails with reckless abandon, but having a few sensible friends round for a Tupperware party. Trouble is that yesterday, when my manager (who sits opposite me) went under her desk to plug-in the network cable on her mac, she shouted at me ‘Kirsty Barton, (in the style of my mother when I was in trouble) – LOOK UNDER YOUR DESK’. Eeek I think the Tupperware decided to have a party all of its own… Shockingly, this 34 and 3/4 year old trudged home last night with 11, yes ELEVEN Tupperware containers in her bag – all rescued from beneath my desk. Thankfully I was not stopped by the police in a random check – how would you go about explaining 11 Tupperware containers on one’s person?!?





“I’m half crazy….

23 09 2010

All for the love of you!  It won’t be a stylish marriage, I can’t afford a carriage. But you’ll look sweet on the seat, of a bicycle built for two!” is how women were romanced back in the day. I was waiting for the bus last night, and accidentally made contact with a half crazy cyclist who smiled at me and shouted …”Want the saddle, love?” pointing behind him as he cycled past at speed. Modern day woo-ing!





Washer Woman

22 09 2010

The mini heatwave we are experiencing in London has prompted me to wash everything I own – so I can dry it in the London smog. I even bought a new bottle of fabric softener in celebration. I accidentally got some on my finger when I was “testing” today’s pack lunch and greedily licking my fingers… so this morning not only did I struggle to see any morning TV over all the washing, but my muesli  had a distinct taste of synthetic sunshine.