You HAD to be there

This page is for all those stories that “You HAD to be there for”.

Special Friends, these ones are for you!

The Poltersheep

An old farmhouse in wales. A picture of two sheep, who seemed to be looking at you from where ever you stood in the room. It was bound to be haunted. No small pale Victorian child or granny here, oh no, our money was on one of “those” sheep, floating above my bed, holding the new bicycle horn I got given for my birthday…but that is another story!


The Faithless album will never be the same after dancing to it in the van in the dark narrow lanes of north wales. It was a Ray-vve (insert welsh accent here).

Keeping Mark’s sugar levels stable is essential in a road trip. Hence we considered developing a modification of a feed bag (traditionally used on horses). A celebrations tin strapped to the head for easy grazing is definitely the way forward!

Let's celebrate

Pass me another snicker.

Since giving up any form of treats for October and November, even the most bland of foods have become exciting.


The girls dived into the cottage cheese with a vengence. Jen in particular had it covered. Well she was covered in it.


Poppa Dom and the four non-blondes enjoyed a low-fat curry not far from the Fulham road.

(we had 6 poppa-doms & 2 pots of sauce too many)

My friend and I went for a coffee at Borough Market. We saw a girl there wearing a fascinator. A fascinator with the longest feather, I have EVER seen. Judging my the general public’s obvious stares, I think it may have been the longest feather they had ever seen too…

After bemoaning my current single status to a friend, I threatened to change tack and try something new. Swap my heels for Hunters and go on I expected her to come back with some valid reasons why I should not embrace that route. No. She send me an email saying you could do a better cook book… and attaches the Farmer’s Wife Cookie Cookbook!! I am sure I could whip up a cheesecake between shearing sheep and feeding chickens?

It went something like this:

S: Do you know where you are going mate?
K: Sure – I printed out the directions – Hang on it’s in my bag…oh yes here we go…
S: Great buddy!
K: Ok, here we go… 2 cups of digestives, 125mls Melted butter…Turn down the heat to 120˚?
S + K: ???????????
K: Oh, I seemed to have picked up my cheesecake recipe – and not the directions :/

I met my friend for a latte when I was home in SA. She was just pouring in her sugar when what I thought was a massive drop of water landed directly in her cup – splashing “milk” everywhere. It had been raining, so I thought it was water from the tree’s above. Turns out it wasn’t. A bird had poo’d and it landed directly in her cup. I mean chances of winning the lottery must be on a par with that! Obviously my mom and I were no help – we just laughed and laughed…and am still laughing at it! Good to see you loodle!

During the recent cold snap, my friend Sean’s eye was watering badly on his cycle home, so much so that when he got home, his eye was frozen open!! He works with cheese – not sure what that means – but according to a “reliable” source – he spends alot of time in a freezer. I reckon he now has a stash of frozen eye balls incase it happens again! Watch out Captain Bird’s eye!

Watching the news has never been so entertaining. I hope that the naked weatherman doesn’t get bitten by that dangerous snake when he is sunning himself in the river, with only a rock to cover his modesty.

A couple of weekends ago was the long awaited, much anticipated Hen do (Part 1). Me and my fellow bridesmaid and her 6.5 month old bump made our way up north early last Friday for essential Hen-do prep, last minute shopping and to be at least a few hours away from the wrath of the bride when she found out we were dressing her up as Bianca from Eastenders – complete with velour tracksuit and instructions to holler Riiiiiiiccccckkkkkkkkeeeeyyyyy out the train at every stop en route.
Our trip up was ok. In true London style everyone ignored us and let us struggle with our bags. I guess they thought I was helping the lady with the “baby on board”. What they didn’t know was strapped to my front was 5kgs of frozen boerewors (South African sausage). My very own, very cold, fairly heavy bump. Next time I am making my own badge, “boerewors on board”.

Anyway we arrived and went to our destination… Jollydays – home of Glamping. Glamorous camping. Bliss if you are like me and “don’t DO camping”. We are talking luxury tents, complete with victorian bath, toilet, 4 poster bed, little kitchen and a wood burning stove. This is how camping should always be done. I am converted. A very happy glamper indeed. There is even a hairdryer. Hallelujah! We arrived a few hours before the rest of the gang – and boy did we make the most of it.

I took a special shine to the humble wheelbarrow and how it makes for a very comfy chair!

But it was not all relaxing. I had organised a game. Tough Girl. It was like a poor man’s version of sports day. Egg and spoon, check. Three legged race in odd wellies on the wrong feet, check. But my personal favourite…relay in hen-do-appropriate pants…

Shorts with a built in plastic bottom. Poundland’s finest export. Team Rooooo-bear (Ruby) vs Team Debb-bear (Debbie) – seems like a few members of our party have trouble understanding the Northern accent whilst chatting to fellow glampers ….You know who you are Sal.

The only thing missing from our amazing weekend was a whisk. Doesn’t sound essential does it? I can assure you, when you plan on making Eton mess for 18 – with 4 cartons of whipping cream and only a fork – you NEED A WHISK. I have only just recovered  – me and my whipping arm. It was very much a team effort, and eventually after about an hour we had slightly whipped cream…

All that is left of the Hin-doo now are some great memories, Gemma’s 600 photos, a fabulous pair of very versatile overalls and one bulging bicep.

I am definitely going Glamping again – reunion next year gals? I hear Rooooobear is keen?


4 responses

11 11 2009

your pictures are just amazing, hilarious and wonderful!!

looking forward to all the updates m’dear! x

20 11 2009

Haha… crying Kirst.. I don’t think a crowd of people have ever found a hairpiece SO “fascinating” !!!

7 12 2009

Kirst, you continue to make me laugh to my very core x

26 04 2010

Kirst, absolutely hilarious …

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