Bus-ted

8 03 2010

I was on the bus. It was the end of a long day. My fellow commuters and I were itching to get off, get on the train, and go home. Even more so when the girl at the back of the bus started talking on the phone. Loudly. I could see people’s initial annoyance. The phone call went something like this:

“Aww-wight?…Yeah…Owww, Muyyyyyy, Gaaaaawd, I sooooo didnt  fink of the right outfit for a Friday, yeah…..No? No way, Owww, Muuuy Gaaaawd (OMG). Yeah, vats right, yeah, OMG really?”

Ok, so now people are just getting annoyed, because if you have to listen to one person’s conversation it should at least be quality eavesdropping material. Little did we know. It carried on, but it got a bit louder, a bit more fretful.

“OMG, really? I don’t like what you are saying, OMG, I fought I was a friend, O…..M…..G, I can’t believe you’s saying I’d do vat? I’s been so good to you. I have only ever treated you respectful O……M……G. I don’t believe it. How can you fink I would do that, OMG. O….M….G.”

Don’t believe what, Didn’t do what? Every commuter was hooked. Furious silent eye to eye contact. Panic. Would we ever know? Like real life Eastenders. Then, just as we pulled up outside Waterloo, she told us. Every single person on the 76.

“How can you say I’s been sleeping wif your fella. OMG, I can’t believe it. OMG. I fout we was friends…OMG. How can you say that? Ooooooowwww, Muuuuuyyy Gaaawwwd.”

There was a lot more furious eye contact. Lots of raised eyebrows. We bundled off, as did she, but she was still on the phone, getting even louder still giving Janice from friends a real run for her money on her favourite catch phrase.

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One response

17 03 2010
Sarah

Hi Kirsty

My friend and I once stayed on the train three stops longer to hear the outcome of a salacious tale of spousal deceit and family skullduggery being related by the woman behind us to her friend…

eavesdropping on public transport is one of the many things I miss about London.

Sarah

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