Drawing under the influence.

14 01 2010

Any woman (and probably by default most men) will tell you that some days are just NOT good. It can be the same as any other day, the same as in – you wear a “feel good outfit” – you wear leg-lengthening, hard to walk in, but oh-so-slimming heels, you even straighten your hair. You apply your make in the same way, you listen to the “guaranteed-to-make-you-feel- happy” songs on your iPod. BUT still it is NOT good. Why?

They are called Hormones. They start pestering you about a week before. They push you into walls and make you trip over nothing on the floor. They make you cry reading the gadget section of the Metro. They make your face look different – it looks fat – it looks puffy – there are possibly (definitely) more wrinkles and blemishes the size of which no-one else on earth has ever had.

Then they arrive. They’re always unexpected and always unwelcome. They drag “You” away, and replace you with an ugly, fat, miserable, angry, crying, clumsy, irritable, puffy, emotional, hungry, older version of yourself…and they stay around for at least a week until “You” return.

Luckily (ahem) I never suffer any of this. Tonight’s spectacular laughing/crying phenomenon (timed perfectly before our house dinner party), had nothing to do with the aforementioned Hormones at all. However the topic did unexpectedly come up at the table (as I was crying into my custard). We worked out that in an average year a woman is “normal” or an “unhindered hormonal version of herself” for only 3 months of an entire year. 3 months. All I can say is good luck lads!

I am off to make myself 9 cardboard cut-outs of my “normal” self to replace me at house dinners and such, should I get unexpectedly dragged off by the Hormones to places filled with junk food, ibuprofen and boxes of tissues.




2 responses

15 01 2010
Prexus Swyftwynd

What a great drawing and amusing post :P Thanks for giving me a good chuckle. I’ve never thought about the fact there’s only 3 months in a year that I can expect my girls to be sane… guess I’ll have to be more cautious from now on, lol. Nevertheless, I think the fun of it all for a girl is that (since she can’t avoid it) when she’s hormonally charged, she can be pampered and cared for extra-nice by her significant other or another intimate individual, if that’s any consolation at all.

30 01 2010

Bloody hell – when you put it like that it doesn’t sound very good at all. But what is even worse is that after years of having to put up with hormones is that then they go into overdrive and you have the menopause where it lasts for year! Don’t get me even started on child birth….

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